Last infusion…DONE! Friday, January 6th, 2017 was and always will be a memorable day. While we knew little Blu would still have to go through additional labs and final scans (which haven’t taken place yet) this was her last Chemo treatment. We got Jet to school, attended assembly and headed to Rady's Childrens Hospital for her last infusion.
Larry the Lobster always in her arms.
I thought port access would be a breeze buuuuut she wasn’t feeling it…well, actually she did feel it and cried and held on to DaddyMax. I envisioned a quick in and out given she knew it was her last one but she was pretty emotional.
We got such an amazing surprise when the nurses snuck up to sing her, “No More Chemo for Liv” and they made her such a beautiful sign. We also didn’t know about ringing the bell to mark her end of Chemo! Max and I were so emotional and both were pretty choked up. It was such a surprise!
On the way home I cried silently in the front seat which surprised me because Liv had just finished her last infusion, we were done and over the biggest hurdles... so I think maybe I was feeling relief? Max carried her upstairs and snuggled in next to her while I stayed downstairs bawling only to finally came up to lay in her bed on the floor and pass out for an hour. I was just drained. It was like my body knew we had just arrived at the finish line of our 6-month marathon and it collapsed as we broke the tape. I can’t remember feeling that wiped out since her surgery.
Thankfully this was her last infusion because it was also one of her worst being sick. She threw up Friday and a few times Saturday. Thank god Max was there for the worst of it as her throwing up makes me throw up. By Sunday she was feeling like her old self and, really, since then she has been great. Please Universe, don’t put my baby through chemo again!
All throughout Chemo Liv refused to shave her head. Even though she was basically bald, she had these long wispy strands left. She called them the Long Blond Strongs, because, "they're long, they're blond, and they're holding on!" J Since her last infusion, however, there is the slightest outline of hair growing back! It is really amazing and exciting!! It's like it just started sprouting out of nowhere. We showed her a recent photo where you could really see it coming in and she made the executive decision that in order for the new hair to come in, it was time to get rid of the old stuff. So DaddyMax lovingly used his clippers (see the video here) and cut off the rest of her Long Blond Strongs J
She LOVES it and is now selling the chance to also enjoy her new do in the form of ‘pets’ where one can enjoy her new fuzzies that are growing in for the low, low pice of $1.00 ($2 for 20 if you call now!) J I find this hilarious and love that she has such a good attitude about it. She gives Jet 5 free pets each day and offers up additional pets for a small fee. She also seems to be more confident in being bald. I believe it is because she chose to take it off versus the cancer and chemo taking it from her. Whatever the real reason is, I am thrilled that she is at this point! I think she looks incredible!!
Tell me this isn't the most beautiful baby girl EVER!!!
Blu's heart is just so incredible. I’ve been finding these amazingly sweet notes in my day planner. Max and I write notes all the time and put them in Jet and Liv's lunch box so they find them during lunch at school. Blu has picked up on it and its so sweet! Her love language has always been writing, drawing, and art and when one of these little love notes pops up it just warms my mommy heart to no end J
This one had a small polaroid of my sweetie :-)
Liv’s final scans are Jan 27th and we have her official “done with chemo” appointment with her doc the Monday after that. This is the next and truly final step to deem her "Cancer Free." I’ll be anxiously awaiting the call after her scans for sure! Although I know in my heart they will be clear, please keep her your thoughts and prayers all the same J
Based on the positive feedback from the doctors, we are confident her exit scans on the 27th will com back clear which will then mean that little Blu will have another scan in 3 months as a follow-up. When those also come back all clear, she will then have the port in her chest removed. Any surgery with your baby is scary but I am viewing this one come April as an 'easy' one given it will be much quicker than when she had the tumor and her kidney removed. In the mean time, we're just looking focusing on these exit scans and her doc giving the thumbs up that she is done.
As I re-read this entry before publishing it I had a thought come to me as to why I was so emotional when Liv finished her last infusion. For 6 months we've had this 'safety net' of Oncology docs, and amazing nurses who were completely dialed in to her health every single week. Her counts were done weekly, her weight was checked weekly, she was interviewed weekly... we knew, every week, exactly how her little body was doing. This became our normal and I think the reality that all of this hyper-attention to Liv's health is coming to an end has me.... scared? Maybe, nervous? Does this make sense? I mean, in the future if she starts to cough or gets a cold I feel like I'm going to be a paranoid basket case just waiting for the shoe to drop or next bomb to hit. Who knows, maybe the simple act of sharing this feeling will help me process and bring me to the realization that I won't need to react with fear :-) Max always says the energy you put out comes back to you. And, I for one, truly believe in my heart that all of the love and energy you ALL have sent Liv Blu throughout this entire ordeal has undoubtedly helped her to heal! So, with that in mind, I am going to choose faith and to put the energy out that we are done with this, that she has been healed, and move on.
I will continue to visualize and affirm, with great clarity and detail, Liv Blu's graduation day when she will cross the stage to receive her diploma, her long beautiful hair flowing behind her, and she'll look out at us with her contagious smile.... only to look back on this year as just a blip on our screen of life. :-)