Liv had a good "post chemo night" last Friday. We didn’t have Jet
so me, Liv, and DaddyMax snuggled in bed, watched TV, and hit the hay early as it
had been a long day. Her tummy was still upset but after a few hands of UNO
(she legitimately beats me) we all went to bed. She is so precious and sweet and I love
seeing her next to us all night.
I woke up early and started making coffee and crepes and as I went back
upstairs, she and DaddyMax were just waking up. Her beautiful hair was everywhere... on her pillow, on her back, flowing in beautiful strands. She still has so much I am
shocked given how much has fallen out! (hard to tell from the photo)
Erica, (Max’s sis)
and her kids, Sophia and Elle wanted to Facetime with Liv so while waiting for
their call I got her dressed and tried
to brush her messy hair. I brushed as
gently as I could but with each stroke clumps of hair stuck to the bristles. How did this happen so
fast?? She’s only had 3 Chemo treatments! It became very apparent that the poison
they've been pumping into her body to hunt down the rapidly dividing cells was in full effect.
I have to admit…I was an absolute mess. Max had left to attend Jet’s soccer game and
it was just me and little Rainbow at home.
I tried (and succeeded) to hide my tears but my mommy heart was just
breaking. I know its just hair but also such a clear and tangible sign that my baby girl... has Cancer. We talked and agreed that a hair cut was in order and it was time to go short! Little Locks in La Jolla had a 9:45 appointment so off we went.
The lady who has cut her hair several times, Joy, was there and I pulled her aside and explained all that has transpired since our last hair cut. Tears welled up in her eyes but she went right to work. While washing her hair, she kept having to unclog the sink as her beautiful hair was falling out. Liv chose Cotton Candy shampoo and Pineapple conditioner. When Joy towel dried her wet locks, the entire towel was covered in hair. I fucking hate Cancer.
The lady who has cut her hair several times, Joy, was there and I pulled her aside and explained all that has transpired since our last hair cut. Tears welled up in her eyes but she went right to work. While washing her hair, she kept having to unclog the sink as her beautiful hair was falling out. Liv chose Cotton Candy shampoo and Pineapple conditioner. When Joy towel dried her wet locks, the entire towel was covered in hair. I fucking hate Cancer.
I had to put my sunglasses on for part of it because as I
watched her golden strands fall to the floor my heart fell with them and broke. I couldn't help but think about how we have 5+ months left
to go... what else is going to happen to my baby girl? What other side effects of
the poison they pump into her is she going to have to deal with??
Joy cut away and Liv said, in her ever optimistic and positive tone, “lets go shorter!” So she did and really, we all love her new cut! She
was so excited to show everyone and we bought several new bows and clips and in
true little Blu fashion, she skipped out to the car.
Our nightly routine at home has always been after bath, DaddyMax combs out her hair. For years this has been the routine. I'm not sure if its because he wasn't present for her hair cut as he was with Jet at soccer but, upon combing out her new shorter cut, I could tell that it was really hitting him that baby girl was definitely losing her hair. He kept pulling it out of the comb and giving me this look like "Oh my god... it just keeps coming out."
Liv got a really cute tote bag for her chemo apts which will be so useful- thank you Amanda for being so thoughtful! We have it packed and ready to go in the morning with her favorite stuff :-)
Liv has been able to go to school half days till 11:30 all week. We hope that will continue for another week but given tomorrow is her "big dose" chemo day, I've a feeling it won't be long before she can't attend anymore. I'm shocked she can still fit on DaddyMax's shoulders but when she asks, he can't resist.....
As a mom I don't know that the night before Chemo will get better/easier. I trust and hope that it will get better for her and pray it will for me and Max. As I write this knowing tomorrow we pick her up at 8am, put her numbing cream on her port and take her to Rady's Childrens Hospital by 9am for her long session (probably 4-5 hours) I try to go to bed hoping for sleep but knowing it won't likely come anytime soon.
Keep her in your thoughts and prayers :-) oxxoxoxo Carlie
Our nightly routine at home has always been after bath, DaddyMax combs out her hair. For years this has been the routine. I'm not sure if its because he wasn't present for her hair cut as he was with Jet at soccer but, upon combing out her new shorter cut, I could tell that it was really hitting him that baby girl was definitely losing her hair. He kept pulling it out of the comb and giving me this look like "Oh my god... it just keeps coming out."
Liv got a really cute tote bag for her chemo apts which will be so useful- thank you Amanda for being so thoughtful! We have it packed and ready to go in the morning with her favorite stuff :-)
Liv has been able to go to school half days till 11:30 all week. We hope that will continue for another week but given tomorrow is her "big dose" chemo day, I've a feeling it won't be long before she can't attend anymore. I'm shocked she can still fit on DaddyMax's shoulders but when she asks, he can't resist.....
As a mom I don't know that the night before Chemo will get better/easier. I trust and hope that it will get better for her and pray it will for me and Max. As I write this knowing tomorrow we pick her up at 8am, put her numbing cream on her port and take her to Rady's Childrens Hospital by 9am for her long session (probably 4-5 hours) I try to go to bed hoping for sleep but knowing it won't likely come anytime soon.
Keep her in your thoughts and prayers :-) oxxoxoxo Carlie
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