Liv Blu Update :-)

Carlie here....a lot has happened but at the same time,,not a ton if that makes any sense?..Liv is doing great :-)  Her wound from surgery is healing amazingly well.  I haven't been able to get all the tape off her tummy without many many tears (please someone make a post surgical tape that doesn't remove skin and doesn't make kids shed a zillion tears when it needs to come off!!)  but, we are getting close.  I think this has been worse than the surgery itself in Liv's eyes!

She is playing with friends, she has even done a few half-days of Art Camp (not to much active stuff but making jewelry, drawing and crafts which she loves).  It gets her out and allows her to be social which she so desperately needs.  Her BFF Brylie came for a playdate and she was in heaven. Aren't girlfriends the best?!

She did lose her first tooth and, in total Liv fashion, instructed the Tooth Fairy to NOT take her tooth as she wanted to keep it. Yes, this is my child and should not surprise me yet she does!

Jet is doing well although I can tell this is a lot for him.  In some ways it is good- he is now packing his own bag for soccer and being more responsible for his own things.  He wants to help me unload groceries when normally he jumps out of the car and races inside- he is trying and his efforts touch me as a mom.  I can also tell he picks up on the changes and the stress that Max and I feel and, being the absolute love that he is, he wants to fix it all for us. I could not love these little humans any more.

He is being such a great brother, taking care of her, putting up with the special needs she has, taking in all the gifts and cards and understanding why he isn't also on the receiving end :-)  It's gotta be hard at 9 to understand it all and he is doing amazing.  Jet is the BEST.  He has been fortunate to still maintain his activities such as soccer and camps. Max, being the amazing Dad he is, is still assistant coaching his soccer team :-)

My mom is helping a TON.  Really....I don't even have the words.  She cooks for us, picks up the kids, walks our dogs when needed and sometimes, just listens and understands when I melt down and cry for no apparent reason.  She has been and always will be, the rock of this family.  She just always seems to know what is needed, when it's needed, and is there.  I'm so grateful.  We are all grateful. She is dealing with her mom, my grandma, being ill and it sometimes seems like things have hit at once.  I know there is a reason and we will come out stronger than before!!!

Liv's BIG appointment, is this Thursday.  We will find out the details of what is next to come.  I am anxious and also really want to run and hide and not deal with any of it. ugh. :-(   We will learn about her chemo schedule for the next 6 months, all appointments, what she will feel like, how sick she will be, when her hair will fall out, what to feed her, etc, etc.  Max and I have had both kids almost all summer. With Liv's hospital stuff, we have had her full time.  The schedule will soon go back to them splitting time between home and their biological dad's house.  This is a massive stressor for me as I've always had the kids when they've been sick and the thought of not having her 24/7 while she deals with this is almost to much for me to bear.  I am in tears just thinking about it.  While I'd like to unload on this topic, that's all I can say really so I will leave it at that.

It all seems totally overwhelming and I really want to run away from it all. Me and Max, take the babies and the fur babies and just head to Mexico.  Eat quesadillas and drink Pacifico's and ride it out. lol. Yeah, that ain't gonna happen but I can dream right?  This is a time when I am grateful for so much but I am also hating many things that are out of my control.  Giving up control is hard for me...ask my (amazing) husband ;-)  I am going to learn alot about not having control through Liv's ordeal and I'm not going to like it but it is what it is.... grrrrrrrrrr

Max continues to be her favorite person in the world. "will Max pick me up?", "Will DaddyMax put me to bed?", "When will Max be home?" He has this way with them that I will forever be thankful for.  For loving these babies, for taking care of me and still being Max.  He was sent from Heaven and I have to accept his amazing gifts.  They have snuggles each morning and this baby has never felt more love.  As a wife I am trying to take his needs into account but honestly, the focus has been on the kids and I need to make more of an effort to take care of him as well.

The love and support continue to flow her way and we are again, so grateful for everyones love. Not much else to report for now, will update after her big appointment this Thursday. I love you all! Some random photos of this past week!

Not totally sure who dropped this off on our doorstep but woke to wine and cupcakes today- Sonia????? All of it will be enjoyed!!

xoxoxxo Carlie

Oh, and the pets are feeling neglected......

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